Getting old sucks.
Now, before you start to commiserate with me about the ‘good
old days’, if you can’t tell me where you were the night Julius Caesar
was killed, then I don’t want to hear it.
I’m not talking plain ol’ 'old' here - I’m talking ancient.
Getting ancient sucks.
The main problem is that after a while, there’s nothing new
to do or see in the world. I mean, how many times can you hear
Switzerland declare neutrality, or watch France surrender to someone?
Even the multi-cultural land of the United States lost a
little bit of its purple mountain majesty after a few centuries.
Then I found New York City. A universe unto itself, Manhattan
was this wonderland of lights and sounds and smells that I didn’t think
I could ever grow tired of.
And I didn’t, for about five decades.
But there’s this wondrous thing about NYC - along with
Manhattan, there are four other landmasses called ‘boroughs’, something
that I don’t think can be found anywhere else on the planet. These
boroughs are each their own different world, places that were so unlike
from Manhattan, you wouldn’t know you were in the same city.
So, after seeing yet another Broadway play and having what
might possibly be my one-billionth dirty-water hotdog, I decided to pack
up my things and move to Brooklyn.
Brooklyn is an amazing place, with its stoops and fire
escapes, stickball and foldable pizza slices. A place where each block
spoke a different language, yet every corner brownstone had an old woman
yelling for her grandson to come home for supper.
It was in this multicultural hubbub that I started my
lucrative – albeit decadent – business.
This kind of business was something I was very familiar with,
and it didn’t take long for me to have it pretty much running on its
own, giving me enough time and money to do what I wanted.
What did I want to do, you ask? Well, that’s the rub… I am a
two-thousand-year-old vampyre. I wanted to do something different.
But what could possibly be different for me when I’ve pretty much seen
it all?
My answer came one night when I was standing on the roof of
my building, watching the boats on the East River. I was leaning on the
ledge, staring at the lights from the Seaport when I realized that I was
no longer alone on the roof.
I felt him before I saw him, and turned in time to witness
him emerge from the shadows.
No, emerge was the wrong term. He came up from the shadows,
as if the darkness gave birth to him. He was thin, but muscular, with
broad shoulders, a v-shaped chest, and legs that filled out his BDUs
nicely. He was dressed in black and red, wearing a leather trench, with
a red mask covering the lower half of his face.
And he had the most amazing green eyes I had ever seen.
Unfortunately, those eyes had a look in them that I had seen
many times before: he was there to kill me.
I sighed and rested my elbows on the ledge behind me, looking
upwards. “It’s a beautiful night,” I said to him, “Are the stars what
brought you up to Tar Beach?”
His forehead wrinkled in confusion. “Tar Beach?”
I smiled slightly; so he wasn’t a native New Yorker. “The
rooftop luv… Tar Beach…” I looked back up at the sky. “So, if not for
the stars, then maybe for some other celestial reason…?”
He shifted slightly, trying to figure me out. I doubt I was
what he was expecting from an ancient bloodsucking fiend. “You are
Celeste DeCumpania, right?”
“You mean a picture didn’t come with my dossier?”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m not a hired gun; I don’t take
missions for money.”
“Then what are you?”
I noticed his shoulders straighten before he responded. “I’m
a ninja.”
I rolled my eyes. “Well, I’ve been to Asia often enough to
know a ninja when I see one.” I stared at his olive skin and amazing
eyes for a moment. “Of course you’re not like any ninja I’ve ever seen.”
“Enough of this,” he growled, “You know why I’m here.”
“To kill me, I suppose,” I replied, “Although I can’t imagine
why.”
“You think I should just let you get away with murdering
seven children?”
I laughed. “Children? My dear ninja, children are not as
sought-after a commodity as they used to be.” As I spoke, I inhaled his
scent. He was human and… something else. I wasn’t sure what.
Interesting… “The reason children were such a treat way back when was
because their innocence made their blood delectably sweet.” I noticed
his hands clench into fists as I continued. “But with cable television
being piped into their brains at such young ages nowadays, there are
very few that taste different from adults… and it’s not worth the
aggravation of hunting for the tasty ones.” I saw his eyes flash. “Is
this conversation bothering you?”
“Is this…” his voice got low; I had a feeling that this meant
he was pissed. “You’re standing here talking about eating babies, and
you’re asking if it bothers me? Are you out of your fucking
mind?”
“Yes.” I answered simply.
I tried to figure out what was going on. Why hadn’t he
attacked yet? Was he sizing me up the same way I was him?
I was bored at this point. That’s most probably why I struck
first.
I sent the knives at him with less than my normal strength
and speed, just to give him a fighting chance. His arms flew up in an X
in front of his chest, and I felt a wave of power as an invisible shield
formed in front of him. He stayed in that position for a couple of
seconds, then looked between his arms when he didn’t feel the impact of
the blades against the shield. I let the knives hover in the air in
front of him for a few moments, then had them disappear in puffs of
smoke.
“Great thing, illusions,” I said as he lowered his arms. “You
never know what is real and what is not. This whole city could be a
figment of my imagination and you would never know it.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “How do I know that
you’re real then?”
I smiled. “I don’t know… How do you?”
He melted into the ground, and I knew where he was going to
appear. I took a step forward, so he’d have enough room, and an instant
later felt his arms around me, pulling me tight against him. He was
stronger than I would’ve guessed, but not stronger than me. I could’ve
easily broken his grasp, but I let the boy have his moment. Besides, it
felt nice being pressed up against him like that.
And then I felt the cold steel against my throat. It was an
amazingly arousing moment.
“So kill me,” I whispered, enjoying his mystifying scent, “I
just hope another child doesn’t die while you’re wasting time with me.”
With something resembling vampyric speed, he put the knife
away and spun me to face him. “Prove it,” he growled, “prove you didn’t
kill those children.”
“You mean besides not knowing what children you’re talking
about?” I replied. His eyes flashed again. “Let’s make a deal,” I said,
stepping closer to him. He instinctively stepped back, pinning himself
against the ledge. I knew better than to think he was caught; half his
body was covered in shadows. “I’ll help you to find the murderer…”
“What if I already have?”
I smirked. “If you actually thought that, I have a feeling
you’d be trying harder to kill me.”
His hand wrapped around my throat; again, it was done with
inhuman speed. If being choked hadn’t been done to me numerous times by
various creatures over the years (and if for the fact that I really
didn't need to breathe…), I might have been impressed… even scared.
But being ancient jades you a bit.
I sighed. “Have you ever considered that I’m letting you win
this little power play? That I’m not even using a modicum of my powers
on you?” I locked eyes with him and smiled. “Do you know how many times
you’ve looked me directly in the eye? Seventeen. Seventeen times I
could’ve taken over your mind and make you my willing slave, do you
realize that?”
He stared at me for a few moments, his eyes cold and hard.
“No, you couldn’t have.”
I was impressed. The boy thought he had a chance of beating
me. As cute as that was, I was interested in other things, and I knew he
was not yet willing to hear about those naughty thoughts.
So I faded away… literally. Just another neat little trick
from your friendly neighborhood vampyre.
“Like I was saying,” I continued, appearing on the other side
of the roof; I noticed he was slightly stunned by my disappearing act,
“I’ll help you find the murderer. Once we find him, you’ll know it’s not
me, and I can go back to…” I smiled and looked him slowly over, “other
pursuits.”
“Forget it,” he growled, “I don’t fuck monsters.”
I laughed. “You’re such an innocent child…”
His eyes narrowed. “I am no child.”
I couldn’t keep the smirk off of my face. From what I could
see, I would’ve guessed him to be in his mid to late twenties, so that
meant I had about one thousand, nine hundred and eighty-five years on
him… yeah, he was a child. “So, do we have a deal, or not?”
“And if we don’t find this murderer?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Then you’re not as good a ninja as you
thought you were.”
The morning stars came at me with a speed that was
impressive. I guess that’s why he couldn’t hide his surprise when I
caught them as if he had thrown me a baseball.
“Look, I don’t have all night,” I said, putting the stars in
my jeans pocket, “I have a business to run and all… So either put some
effort into killing me, or let me help you.”
He stared at me for a few moments. I knew he had a lot more
weapons in his arsenal - he wouldn’t be a ninja otherwise. “Fine, but if
you betray me…”
“You’ll hunt me down and make me rue the day… yeah, yeah,
yeah…” I headed towards the stairway. “All of this negotiating is making
me thirsty. I have a full bar downstairs. Do you want anything?”
He shifted slightly. “Got any Rockstar?”
“Geez,” I rolled my eyes, “you kids and your odd drinks…”
Even with the mask, I could tell he was trying not to smile.
“This doesn’t mean I trust you.”
“You’d be an idiot if you did.” I opened the stairway door,
then said over the noise from below. “So ninja, what do I call you?”
“My name is Shadoboxxer.”
I giggled. “Seriously?”
His eyes narrowed. “Yes, seriously.” His hands clenched. “Do
you have something to say about that?”
“No luv. If you say that’s your name, that’s your name,” I
started down the stairs, “Just don’t expect me to call you that…”
And that’s how the partnership started between Shadoboxxer
and me. What can I say? Spending time with the young ninja could
possibly make this old vampyre feel like a girl again…
Shadoboxxer is the brain child of
Victor Toro
Celeste DeCumpania is
the brain child of ME!
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